A Vampire at the Door

The moon hangs against a sea of stars as a vampire steps up to the door. He knocks. An old German lady answers. She looks him up and down and says, "Willkommen." "Ah, good," the vampire says, stepping forward. At the threshold, though, there is a flash of light, and the vampire is thrown backward several inches. He rears up to his full height and shakes. "Vhat is going on?" he asks, his cape fluttering as he spreads his arms in disbelief. "You have invited me in. Vhy can I not enter?" "Nein!" the old German lady says. "I have said 'Willkommen.' This is not semantically the same as an invitation to enter!" The vampire balks. "But I have heard you quite clearly. You said, 'Vell, come in'!" The vampire steps forward a second time, but with a flash and a crack he is once more repelled at the threshold. The old Germany lady waves her hand at the vampire. "Dummkopf! How do you not know German?" "I have never been repelled at a threshold before!" The vampire says, trying a third time, moving slowly, the threshold sparking and sizzling as he tries to force his way through. "You have said to me, 'Vell, come in'!" The old Germany lady harrumphs as the shock from the threshold throws the vampire down onto the front walk. "Nein! 'Willkommen'!" she shouts. "Und now that I see you are repelled, go away!" The door slams as the vampire gets to his feet. With a snap of his cape, he turns and stalks off, muttering, "Most unfair. Most unfair. Ve vill have to speak to the rules committee."